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August 11, 2010
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D42 Comic 1 by MrParaduo D42 Comic 1 by MrParaduo
FINALLY!! :iconepiclaplz:

I've been meaning to finish this for months now. The first page of my new web comic series: D42!

This first page was really a sort of "testing the water" thing for me. I didn't know where I needed work more, so I wanted to just go and see what people initially thought. The joke here was meant to be somewhat Monty Python-esque in that the two NPCs are talking about seriously complex topics that seem out of place for their station in society, while diverting the focus of the comic from the actual plot (see giant arrow in my head for details). Speaking of which, the kanji present is supposed to stand for Weight, or Story in Japanese...according to Google Translate. ^^;

So, what do you think? What needs work? :)

P.S: There was actually more dialogue for this piece, but I couldn't fit it on due to issues of being a n00b to this whole thing, here's what me and my friend Alleluia came up with during development:

MP: "Wait, run that by me one more time: How exactly does being remembered make your immortal, if you're already dead?"

AL: "Are you really dead if people still know who you are? I don't think so. Even a thousand years pass and people still remember your name and say how great a guy you were...Now that sounds like immortality to me."

MP: "But that's a complete misconception on the theory of eternal life. You have to be dead to live forever? That's rediculously confusing to the point of being a total paradox."

AL: "Your immortal in the sense that your name never dies...They'll all know your name and they'll all know that you belong to it. And besides you can't be a "real" immortal anyway. Everything dies."

MP: "Then immortality is not a permenant state of being, because eventually the society that remembers the indevidual in question will die too, their existance forgotten. In my opinion, their should be levels of immortality rated by the added length of life, and difficulty of being destroyed, rather than people just believing immortality is a generic lable for anyone who just can't die."

AL: "We've been over this before and if I've told you once I've told you a thousand times that Immortality by definition means one who by no circumstance can die. But if we use it as a term for one who may be on this earth forever then you must also accept that one who is cannot be forgotten is an immortal because he exists in some form."
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:iconthe-tod:
the-tod Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2010
I think the animation is "cute" and I think it seems to fit the page very nicely. I will look at page two now.
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:iconmrparaduo:
MrParaduo Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:iconlegaspplx:
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:iconleopardsoul-warrior:
Leopardsoul-Warrior Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
LMAO I dont understand those random math equations XD Awesome start :P
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:iconmrparaduo:
MrParaduo Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
:icondummydanceplz:

It's basically a joke on how overly complex and uninteresting their conversation is for the average reader, and how the actual plot is in that direction over there!

You'll be appearing in the third or fourth page. And of course I'll need you to proof read and green light the dialogue I have set up for dhestiny before I do anything further. :D
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:iconleopardsoul-warrior:
Leopardsoul-Warrior Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
Alright :D
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:iconeggplantm:
Eggplantm Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
It is a good comic with clean, colorful artwork and the joke works in that you can see the main character (you) is fed up with their long, philosophical and utterly pointless conversation. I also really like the top-down view in the first panel.

Now, there is one main thing that needs to be worked on here and that is the blending of the visual art with the story. You can write dialogue and plan scenes but you have to do your art so that they mesh well with the words and action. The word balloons are just as much of the overall effect as anything else.

For example in the first panel, we have to guess or figure out who said the first word balloon. We know the warrior said the next one cause a tail points to him but we had to stop and figure out the other one. I that was drawn with the robed guy on top, he could have had a tail pointing to him and it would have been easy to figure out.

This happens a lot when you don't plan out your scenes to match your script. If character A speaks first, put him on the left side so we can continue to read left to right. Make sense? Sure, but we have to remember that or word balloons begin to duel with each other.

I liked the extra text. Play with text size to find the optimal balance. Wordy pages can stop a lot of people so don't do them often.

I liked it and I want to see more.
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:iconmrparaduo:
MrParaduo Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you Eggplantm-sense! :iconiloveyouplz:

I will do my best to improve this to greater heights of entertainment! :shakefist:
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:iconalleluia00:
Alleluia00 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
I like it. I kind of get the math equations and I wonder what's gonna happen next.
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:iconmrparaduo:
MrParaduo Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Gratze! :la:
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:iconalleluia00:
Alleluia00 Featured By Owner Aug 12, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
Your welcome.
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